Untold Story
Joan Jett
People were telling me to go on with my life and find another woman. (There are plenty of fishes in the sea. Just find another one.) I don't know where other people got there idea's from. I didn't fall in love with a woman as much as I feel in love with another heart. My counterpart was not in the flesh as much as it was in the spirit. I fell in love with a spirit -- not a woman's body. Not a woman's mind. Just because someone else had a woman's body and mind - how could I ever fool myself and look past the most essential part and component in love. The heart and soul of the counterpart. Doubt played havoc on my mind, as well as the idea's of others. I needed an experience with her spirit that would manifest itself outward to help combat the doubt. Much like the rock and roll experience with the Eagles.
Samantha's spirit came to me in a dream and instructed me to attend a Joan Jett show. I didn't know how I was going to find a Joan Jett show back in 1981. She was now playing solo. Joan had left the Runaways. She had a solo album out but at the time, it was only available by import and I had already purchased it. She was not a stadium artist at the time. I called a friend from my hometown and he said,
"Guess who is playing in town next month? One of your favorite guitarists. Joan is playing a show here on Valentines Day."
I made plans to take off work for a few days and flew home for Valentines Day. I thought how appropriate that I would get to see Samantha's favorite guitarist on that day. It was a small club. I think there was about 50 people in attendance that evening. After the show, (which was one of the best I had ever seen,) I got to meet Joan in person. I told her about my sweetheart and how she had passed away a year before. I told her how she was her favorite artist and greatest inspirations. I asked Joan to come and perform in the city I was living. I promised Joan a full house and sold out venue if she made. I told her,
"If the house is sold out - you got to remember I promise you that and sing a song dedicated to the memory of Samantha for me."
Joan asked me what song I wanted to hear. I told Joan,
"You might think I am crazy, but Samantha talks to me from my heart sometimes. She told me she wanted me to ask you to play one from your heart for me and her."
I knew what song I wanted to here. I knew what song Samantha wanted to hear. I was curious if Joan would get the song right on stage in the middle of her performance.
In 1982, -- "I love Rock and Roll" went number one on the billboard chart. Joan went from playing small little clubs to playing stadiums. She was the number one artist in the nation when she came to town to play at a stadium. I was blown away by the hysteria outside the stadium before the concert. I was sitting with eager anticipation about the turn out. I had been anticipating trying to fill a fifty seat crowd. I went to the show not knowing what to expect. I didn't want to go = but Samantha's spirit came to me in a dream the night before and told me not to miss the show of a life time. Samantha's spirit told me she was going to be there.
In the middle of the show -- Joan stopped the Blackhearts and said,
"What a minute. What a minute. Someone made me a promise about this show. Said if I ever came to Tulsa - I would play to a sold out crowd. Tonight is a SOLD OUT performance. So I have a promise to keep in return. I have a feeling your lost out there in the crowd somewhere. Your know who you are kiddo, cause this one is for Sam!"
Joan went into "Bad reputation." That was the song I was waiting to hear.
I knew without a doubt -- Samantha's spirit was up there on stage with Joan whispering into her ear. NO way anyone in the world would know that Samantha's nickname for me was Kiddo. I never told Joan that Samantha was my nick name for her. I was the only one allowed to call her Samantha. (She didn't like her real name.) She preferred that everyone else call her Sam. I could just imagine hearing Samantha's spirit up there on stage whispering into Joan's ear,
"Don't you dare call me Samantha. Only Kiddo calls me that."
Of course - I never told Joan that I wanted to hear "Bad Reputation," or that was the song Samantha had told me she wanted to hear at the sold out concert.
There was no doubt in my mind that Samantha's spirit was alive and well and kicking up some dust in the rock and roll arena on the other side and on this side every once in a while.
I don't give a damn
'Bout my reputation
I've never been afraid of any deviation
An' I don't really care
If ya think I'm strange
I ain't gonna change
An' I'm never gonna care
'Bout my bad reputation
Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
I felt that if Samantha's spirit was a product of my imagination and causing me to go crazy, well -- then I wasn't in bad company if Joan was going crazy with me. No doubt in my mind Joan had a pure heart of rock and roll soul where whispers on the wind -- sing a tune to the beat of eternal love.
I had been telling Samantha I thought it was strange carrying on a relationship in dreams and spirit. I didn't care about the strangeness of it after that concert. (See: See Ya Later Kiddo.)
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