Reincarnation: Memoria
Memoria Loss
After my memory loss at the age of 18, my Mother told me she felt the first words out of my mouth as a child were 'reincarnation' and 'twin.' I had several stages in my life. One was prior to the age of 18 (childhood) and the second phase I entered into was the early adult stage. (18 to 25.) With my memories wiped clean - the testimony my parents, family and friends gave me about conversations I had shared wth them concerning insights into the theme, therory, idea of reincarnation being either fact or fiction was nothing but a mystery to me.
Childhood Experiences
I started regaining 'memories' of childhood and finally have the mulitple fragments pieced together to give me a clear picture of my childhood experiences with the theme and subject of reincarnation. It was as my Mother stated. I started talking about another body and another time as soon as I learned to talk. At the age of three - I was plauged with nightmares from another lifetime. I would wake my parents up in the middle of the night screaming about being caught up in a 'war zone' during a horrific battle. My parents were mystified because the details I used to describe the scenes of carnage where (what they thought) beyond the imagination of a three year old child. The visions, dreams, thoughts and 'recalls' eventually slowed down. At the age of seven when I had my 'near-death' experience - the visions returned and this time they were multiplied. It wasn't just one life I had sight, sound and recall of. My Mother later told me they had thought they had extracted the 'idea' from my mind and that I had put it behind me only to have it return with a vengence. By the age of 9, I was told it was not polite to bring up the subject matter in mixed company and that I had to pick and choose when I brought the subject up. At the age of 12, something occured that brought the subject back to the forefront again. There were three 'bursts' of activity which brought the subject to the forefront of my mind where it lingered for several years. There was the period between 3 and 7. The period between 9 and 10. The final period in childhood was from the age of 12 to the age of 15. I had done as my parents asked me to do and found others I could talk to concerning the subject. I found others my age who were dealing with the same 'recall' from a past life. One particlar friend and I dealt with the theme together in an effort to put a handle on it and control it some what.
Mystical Memoria Loss
The Doctors I worked with from the age of 14 though the age of 21 felt that I had utilized a pyscological technique called compartmentalization. The way it was explained to me I referred to it as 'glove compartment' in the unconscious mind. If I ran into a mystical moment where the 'spiritual reality' merged into the 'physical reality' - I would toss the conflicting ideas into an area of the 'unconscious' mind for storage. This idea was generated by one of my parents stubborn attempt to 'squash' the idea of reincarnation out of me because it wasn't a part of the religious belief of the majority mind-set in society. The Doctors stated this sort of thing was a normal process for every human being alive. People buried unpleasant memories in an effort to avoid painful thoughts. I had divided my mind of understanding into two areas. The normal rational mind and the mystical mind. The 'mystical mind' was too attached to the memories of physical pain and torment brought on by the medical condition. The information, data and experiences were not being lost as much as they were being put aside and locked up in a 'compartment' for access at a later date and time. I could encounter a 'mystical moment' where I would have a 'psychic' access to the past lives of another individual and speak about it at length and thirty minutes later, I would forget the entire 'mystical conversation' had taken place. I spoke to many people from the age of 18 to 21 and they marveled that I could completely wipe my conscious mind clean of the in-depth conversation we had shared about visions I had of their 'past lives.' It was a matter of not allowing the 'right' hand to know what the 'left' hand was up to.
Adult Experiences
The adult experiences were divided into two different categories. If I felt it was too deep and heavy for my normal conscious rational mind....I would bury it in the 'hidden glove compartment' within my unconscious mind. I would lose conscious sight of some events within minutes of it happening especially if it involved insights into another person's past life persona's. I felt it was "God's territory" through the hand of our Creator rather than my own human hand or mind. I did it in an effort to keep my own self humble and give credit where I credit was due. My 'mystical experiences' belonged to the domain of spirit and not something my own 'human mind' could or would comprehend when the moments occurred. I couldn't repeat them at will and had no control when, where or how they came to me. I rationalized it to myself by saying, "it belongs to God and not me. When God feels I can handle the weight of it, then God will pull it out of the glove compartment and hand it back to me." I felt that the 'mysteries of God' were beyond my own mind of understanding and only felt I was 'go-between' during those 'mystical moments' where another person was involved. I tried to keep a normal, rational and skeptical mind about the idea and theory of reincarnation. On a human level, I didn't like the idea of having to come back into the world and starting all over again. I kept an open mind about it and wanted to see it proven to me beyond a doubt. I felt the only one would had the might, right or authority to do so was the Creator of all souls, past, present and future. If the experience wasn't enough to prove to other minds - then the experience got buried because it wasn't proof enough to walk around the idea with the potential for it becoming an 'obsession.'
I had an encounter with a young man at the age of 18 that involved his and my own reincarnation from a past life together. When the moment came, the 'unconscious glove compartment' would open up and I would deal in the moment with memories from childhood about reincarnation. It was like collecting a string of 'pearls' that I would add to. When the moment was over - I would take the entire collection and put it back into the 'glove box compartment' of the unconscious mind and my normal rational mind would be 'none the wiser' about the entire collection hidden away in the undertow. There was the mystical mind and there was the normal mind. 2 months later, I had another encounter with another young man that involved a 'past life' together. I would take out the string of pearls hidden away and dealt with him with full sight of the entire scope of my past experiences dealing with the subject of reincarnation thought the history of my life and when I walked away from the moment, I added another pearl to my collection and stored it away for safe keeping.
There was another scripture my Grandfather had told me about keeping ones own holy and mystical 'treasure' hidden from the 'dogs' (cynics.) I kept my 'treasure' so hidden and secret - the moments were hidden from my own conscious mind unless certain criteria was meet during the 'pearl like moment.' I became my own 'skeptic' and 'critic' when it came to evaluating the 'pearl moments' I had stored away.
My adult experiences started within a few weeks after my NDE and my 'memoria' loss and continued to be a major 'hidden' theme throughout my adult life up to 2008. I continued to have encounters where I would get 'mystical insight' to the past lives of others, as well as my own.